Of Random Insanity
by SgtPepper667
Summary: [Chpt 2] Roxas finally gets his trip to WalMart. Saix is called a sex offender and Zexion and Demyx get attacked by yaoi fangirls and a fanboy that you would least expect. [A lot of OOC. Extremely random. No pairings. Rated T for language.]
1. Xemnas and His Coffee

-sigh- I know, I need to work on Katara and Bring Me to Life...I needed an outlet for my insane randomness. I'm warning you, this story is weird...It's basically anything that comes off the top of my head...anyways...enjoy! Oh yeah...

I don't own the following: Dane Cook, Kingdom Hearts, or Wal-Mart...-cries-

Pssst...read and review please!

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"WHERE IS MY COFFEE!?" Xemnas yelled through the halls of The World That Never Was.

"OH MY GOD! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Demyx squealed, running from the white haired man, eventually falling down the stairs and right on top of Zexion. The poor boy was crushed by Demyx's body.

"They are gay! I knew it!" Axel screamed, causing the rest of the inhabitants to come out of their rooms. Xigbar looked as if he was going to cry.

"As if!" Xigbar cried, running to his room. Yes, he was literally crying.

"Hey remember that one time at that one party on that one holiday?" Lexaeus said stupidly. Saïx gave him a stare.

"What party on what holiday?" He was going to strangle this idiot. How Lexaeus was higher ranking than him, Saïx did not know.

"Uh...uh...the holiday that...uh...JESUSMAS!"

"You mean Christmas?" Demyx asked, letting Zexion breathe.

"YEAH! IT WAS SO FUNNY! YOU LIKE KISSED ZEXION AND HE BLUSHED AND XIGBAR CRIED AND XEMNAS KNOCKED OVER THE JESUSMAS TREE AND --" Poor Lexaeus couldn't finish. It was exactly five 'o clock, his naptime. So he collapsed and curled up into a sleeping...rock...

"That was weird,"

"Yeah..."

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN COFFEE!?"

"AAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEE!" Demyx ran into his room, the scared Zexion following him. Before Zexion could get in, Demyx had slammed the door, causing Zexion to crash into it.

"How should I know, you hide all the coffee..." Saïx glared at his superior.

"That's because Demyx drinks it and then...well we all know what happens when Demyx drinks coffee,"

"So go make yourself some coffee..."

"Bite me," Saïx then began growling like a dog, he had gone berserk.

"Oh shit..." Xemnas ran away screaming like a young girl.

"OHMYGOD! AREWEGOINGTOWAL-MART! PLEASETELLMEWE'REGOINGTOWAL-MART! IWANNAGOTOWAL-MART!" Roxas could hardly contain his energy.

"Why you!? Out of all the people in this damn castle, WHY YOU!? This is something I'd expect from Demyx, NOT YOU!" Saïx's eye twitched.

"Yeah, dude! We're going to Wal-Mart!" Xigbar cheered.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S ALZHIEMER'S MAN!" Roxas pointed to the older Nobody and screamed.

"What the hell?" Xigbar asked, totally lost.

"He thinks you have Alzhiemer's...and that you only have a week to live," Saïx explained, drinking more of his peach tea.

"Hey guys! Wanna hear something funny?" Demyx asked, skipping into the room.

"Oh God...more of Demyx's comedy..." Saïx sighed. So the rest of the Organization was summoned to the living room. Now Demyx's story begins...

"So I'm hangin' out with all my buddies and um, I realized something. I realized something. Think of the group of people you known the longest in your life. Think of the group of friends you've hung out with the most. Maybe you're all here tonight. And this is what I've realized, I had an epiphany and here it is right here. There is one person in every group of friends that nobody effing likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts. When that person is not around the rest of your little base camp, your hobby is cutting that person down. Example: Naminè is always a douche bag. Every group has a Naminè and she's ALWAYS a bag of douche! And when she's not around you just look at each other and go,

'GOD, Naminè! She's such a douche bag!' Until she walks up and then you're like,

'Hey what's up Nami? Naaaami, what's up Nami?' There's always that one person and I'm looking out and some of you guys are like,

'Huuuuum I disagree.' Well you're the person! You're the person nobody likes! I know...it is so true and that's why it's funny. It is so true...that's why it's funny. Because it's so true, hence, funny.

Your whole life that person's been there, too. Right? That's how Xaldin is in our group. Nobody likes Xaldin. Yet everywhere we go Xaldin would show up, even if we didn't tell him where we were going. We would go someplace and he would do that 'I just found you' run.

'Hahahaha! Hey guysss! What's up guuuuysss?' And one of us would always see him and warn the rest of the group. We'd be like,

'Effing Xaldin's coming,'

'What?'

'Effing Xaldin is coming!' That's his name Effing Xaldin's Coming. I heard a rumor when he was born even the doctors said,

'Psst, effing Xaldin is coming. Let's get this demon seed outta here.' That's what I'm saying. Quote, unquote. And you can quote me on the 'quote, unquote'." The rest of the Organization stared at the blonde until Zexion finally burst out in insane laughter.

"Demyx, that's true!" Naminè shouted. "I am not a douche bag...am I?"

No one said a word.

"AM I!?"

Not a word.

"FINE!" She ran off crying.

"That Naminè lass, she's such a douche bag," Luxord said in the silence. Everyone began laughing...that is until Xemnas shouted,

"GIVE ME MY DAMN COFFEE!" Once again Demyx screamed like a small child and ran into his room. Saïx slapped his forehead, wondering why he was surrounded by such idiots.

"...are we going to Wal-Mart...?" Roxas asked quietly.

"Later, young grasshopper, later," Xemnas whispered.

"That was weird..." Said Vexen.

"OHMAHGAWD!" Roxas shouted. "You're old!" He whispered to Vexen and skipped off singing about Wal-Mart.

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Sooooo, didja like it? I'm working on the next chapter now! Yay! I hope I can keep this one going! Thanks for reading!


	2. Roxas is Obsessed with WalMart

Forgive me. This story is completely random. I got some the ideas from my little roleplay on Gaia, lol. Once again, I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or Wal-Mart, or DDR, or Bratz (lol) or Gatorade, or whateverelse is mentioned in here...

Enjoy!

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"WAL-MART! WE ARE GOING TO WAL-MART! YAAAAAY!" Roxas screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Roxas...SHUT UP!" Zexion screamed back, his eye twitching. Demyx was playing with the radio as Saix drove the old Ford pick-up.

"But...but...I LOVE Wal-Mart...It's the best store ever! If I have kids, I will name my kids Wal and Mart. Oh my beautiful, wonderful Wal-Mart! I am infatuated with thee!"

"Oh...my...God...You're worse than Demyx..." Zexion stared in amazement at Roxas' creepy obsession with a grocery store.

"Why are you so obsessed with Wal-Mart? It's just a store..." Big mistake, Saix...

"WAl-MART IS NOT JUST ANOTHER STORE! WAL-MART IS THE BEST STORE EVER! YOU CAN FIND ANYTHING THERE! THE PRICES ARE LOW!" Roxas grabbed Saix's coat and yelled in his face. Saix growled and threw the kid off so he could continue driving.

"Shut up,"

"Okay..." And Roxas was silent until they got to the store.

"This store smells funny..." Zexion said, sniffing the air in Wal-Mart.

"It smells wonderful!" Roxas said, the shojo sparkles in his eyes.

"He looks weird," Demyx whispered to Zexion who nodded.

"Damn that Xemnas, forcing me to come along with you guys..." Saix muttered to himself.

"I HEARD THAT! PICK UP MY COFFEE!" Xemnas' voice filled Saix's complex mind.

"LOOK! LOOK! OH MY GOD, ZEXION! LOOK!" Demyx screamed, running to Zexion, hugging a box.

"Well, I can't exactly see it, if you're hugging it, Demy..." Demyx thrust the box in front of Zexion's face. He stared at it. It was an Axel action figure.

"Isn't it coooool?" Demyx smiled, hugging the box again.

"Axel would flip out if he saw that," Zexion laughed.

"OHMYGOD! IT'S THE SIGN OF THE APOCOLIPSE! ZEXION LAUGHED!" Two girls ran to where the four members were, pointed at Zexion then ran off.

"That was weird..."

"Yeah..."

"Hey, where did Roxas go?" Demyx asked, looking around. The blonde was no where to be found.

"YES! We lost him!" Saix began laughing.

"Uh...Sai --" Demyx was interrupted.

"DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT!"

"Okay..."

"Good,"

"Hey, wanna play a game?" Demyx asked, tossing the action figure aside, hitting one of the workers, causing her to pass out. In a flash other Wal-Mart employees were surrouding the girl, whispering and murmuring to themselves.

"Sure," Zexion and Saix said together.

"YAY!" Demyx squealed. "Okay, we're gonna play hide and seek!"

"Okay!" Zexion smiled...again...just like the last time, the two girls ran up to him and yelled the same thing they had before and then quickly ran off. Saix was laughing evilly inside. Little did these two know that he had ingested sugar and was on a sugar high.

"NOT IT!" He yelled, scaring both Demyx and Zexion. As a result of being scared out of his skin, Demyx jumped into Zexion's arms. When Saix saw them and began laughing hysterically Zexion dropped the blonde and also called the posistion of being 'not it'.

"Crap...oh well!" Demyx frowned, then smiled. "Base is uh...that stack of Gatorade!" The other two nodded and Demyx began counting.

Zexion ran into the toy asile. Demyx would never look for him there. He hid in the cage of stuffed animals.

"Who enters the realm of the fluffiness?" A dark voice asked.

"What the hell?" Zexion asked the pair of yellow glowing eyes.

"You have entered the domain of the fluffiness! HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE! You...you...INTRUDER!" The voice said, Zexion frowned.

"Roxas, shut up and get out of here,"

"Then why are you in here?" Roxas asked, glaring at Zexion.

"Uh...uh...I don't know?"

"LIAR!" Roxas shouted and flew out of the heap of stuffed animals to God knows where in the store.

Saix was getting strange looks from all the little girls.

"It's okay, my love. I will purchase you and take you to a better home!" He said, stroking the doll.

"Mister, are you going to buy her?" A small girl asked. Saix stared at her. "If you're not, I want her."

"YASMIN IS MINE!" Saix hissed and held the doll closer to his chest.

"Please, mister?"

"NO! YASMIN IS MINE! MY PRECIOUSSSS!" The older women were getting mad at Saix for yelling at little girls.

"SEXUAL OFFENDER!" One of the more insane women yelled, causing the asile to turn into a mad house. Saix threw the doll and ran for the video game section. Out of the corner of his eye, the blue haired elf spotted DDR.

"WHO WANTS TO CHALLENGE THE GREAT SAIX TO A GAME OF DDR!?" He screamed. A boy smirked and took up Saix's offer. They began viciously playing DDR. At the end of the song Saix had won. "HAHAHA! YOU LOSE!" Demyx rounded the corner and tagged Saix.

"Haha! You're it!"

"What!?"

"You shouldn't yell, I could hear you all the way from base," Demyx warned.

"Shit!"

"There are more of you?" The boy asked, confused.

"Lulululululululuu! You have been cuuuuuuursed!" Demyx began waving his arms around, making weird noises. Saix raised an eyebrow as he watched the boy run away crying.

"That was pretty funny, Dem," Saix laughed and went to the stack of Gatorade to wait for Demyx to return with Zexion.

"Zexy!" Demyx called, looking for the Nobody. He didn't know that Zexion was behind him, following him.

"Hey mister! You're that sex offender!" A little girl shouted, a horde of women with wooden bats were ready to chase him.

"HOLY CRAP!" Demyx squealed and turned around to run away, but Zexion was in his way. Lips met the other pair and the horde of women dropped their weapons and other dangerous items and watched the two accidentally kiss.

"Yaoi in Wal-Mart!" One of them shouted. The rest took out cameras. Zexion's eye widened and he tore Demyx off of him, grabbed his arm and ran away.

"Where is the yaoi?" A male voice asked. "...Axel was right...you two are gay..."

"Roxas!?" Demyx shouted. Zexion glared at the younger (but taller) Nobody.

"I am NOT gay,"

"DENIAL!" Roxas pointed and laughed.

"I will strangle you," Zexion threatened. Roxas just laughed harder, until Demyx whacked the boy on the head with one of the bats. He picked up Roxas and led the way to the base.

"Are you going to buy those, sir?" One of the employees asked. She gave Saix a stare.

"No,"

"Then you are going to have to move,"

"My presence isn't bothering anyone,"

"Do you enjoy standing by Gatorade boxes?" The girl asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes, I stand by Gatorade boxes all the time!" Saix replied, sarcastically.

"Oh really? Me too! Now, move!" This girl was making Saix rather angry. Before Saix could reply he saw Zexion, Demyx and a limp Roxas running to him.

"Yaoi fangirls! RUN!" Demyx shouted. Saix slapped his forehead. His fellow members gave him the biggest headaches.

"You guys are a bunch of retards!" Saix yelled, opening a portal to the castle. They all tumbled through.

"I am never going to Wal-Mart with you guys again," Zexion said, dusting himself off.

"Agreed." Saix nodded, throwing Roxas on the couch.

"Tomorrow, we should get Vexen drunk..." Demyx smirked at his evil plan.

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Thanks for reading this! Vexen drunk...boy am I going to have fun writing this next chapter! Hey! Click on the review button! It'll make me really really happy 


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